A Few Thoughts on Turning 30.....

Well tomorrow is the BIG 3-0 for me. Even though last year a part of me thought I might panic I think its hilarious this year. That would have to be the high heel wearing glitzy side of me because the real me could care less. No actually I take that back. The real me is thrilled. I'm exactly where I want to be in life. I'm at such a happy, fulfilled, confident place. I truly think this best is yet to come. I've poured my two most positive attributes, my passion, and my constant quest for knowledge into my role as a mother. I think the benefit is more rewarding than any career job I could of even been successful with. I'm shaping human beings. Motherhood is my role for my 30's ...thru out life of course but this next decade is such a vital time in a childs upbringing. I've heard so many people quote the phrase motherhood isn't glamorous. Maybe not depending on your vantage point but its not a weak role. It takes strength and knowledge. Two words that far surpass any obnoxious "glam" title which quite frankly has really begun to bore the intellectual side of me at this point in life. We have no immediate plan for the birthday dinner. At least not right away. We are waiting to see how my sweet Nannie does over the next few days.  In the mean time, since I've seen these type lists on several other blogs I thought I'd make one of my own. You may learn something new about yours truly! :0)

30 Random Things About me:
1) I have a genuine love for humanitarian efforts and wish on a daily basis I did more in that area of my life. It's definitely a goal for this year.
2) I love dessert. I find it borderline impossible to eat a meal without having a dessert to follow. My waistline hates me this year.
3) Ironically, I dislike chocolate and peanut butter...two of the most popular dessert items...But I could DRINK almond I tell you....d-r-i-n-k it!
4) Newborns terrify me. The are so seemingly frail and I hold my breath until they are at least 3 months old. I love when they interact.
5) I miss reading...I love culinary mysteries...laugh if you must..but I'm a mystery lover and it doesn't get much better than a mystery and a recipe on every 3 chapter of a who-dun-it lol ;)
6) I'm very spiritual but not religious.
7) I majored in Psychology and worked for a psychiatrist for several years...I can pretty much diagnosis you in less than an hour beware...
8) But to be fair....I'm super neurotic. Thats my thing. If I can find a way to worry I will....every time..
9) I'm pretty tough though...If its not a tornado, a staph infection, or losing a family member I'm not afraid or intimidated by it. Period. Especially if it walks on two legs and shares the same oxygen I do. ;)
10) I'm a lefty.
11) I'm so right brain dominant that its pitiful. Tears come to my eyes if I even see a math problem but I can articulate with the best of them.
12) I still wear my heels too high and listen to rap music. Don't judge.
13) I'm passionate.. I love and fight with every bone in my body but I'm also very gentle and loving with people. Especially hurting people.
14) I keep a tight circle. I'm not the kind of person to maintain many active friendships. I'm not a loner just more family orientated.
15) My spelling is atrouious. LOL
16) I generally have a very dry quick witted sense of humor but I acquired I love for puns during my first pregnancy. I like even the really bad ones. Here's my favorite...What did one hat say to the other hat on a hat rack? You stay here...I'm gonna go on a head! bahahahaha....sorry I told you.
17) I modeled in my early 20's. I've been in maxim and FHM and a few other publications. I turned down Playboy in 05...even though I was opposed morally I cried over what I thought was a missed opportunity career wise..lol...now I know I'd cry had I of done it. Not sure though a few kids and cupcakes later I might of appreciated it...doubtful though....
18) I was flown out to LA to appear on Beauty and the Geek a few months later and was kicked off because I wasn't close minded enough and they were afraid I'd be kind to the geeks lol! I am a geek. A comic book reading proud geek!
19) My hubby has me addicted to MMA....unless he's fighting. In which case I lose my religion and sanity.
20) I'm not a warm weather fan. I'd like to take a winter vacation. Maybe a cabin in Aspen while I read a culinary mystery with skis on ;)
21) I usually root for the underdog.
22) I love themes and would throw a party everyday if I could.
23) I'm not the kind of Mommy that can leave her little people and go on vacays ....not judging...I just worry too much..I'm more of a home body and love nothing more than movies and snuggling on the couch with my hubby and babies.
24) I'm more of a morning person.
25) I'm such a control freak I can't even use cruise control in a car. True Story.
26) I still scream when bees get near me especially in my hair. Better add that to the tornado ,staph fear category at the top ;)
27)  I have at least concurred my elevator fear. Not so much claustrophobia in general. You wont catch me in a cave anytime soon. But the above mentioned heal wearing accompanied with having a 28lb non walking 1 year old has slowly turned elevators into my friends.
28) I'm not a people pleaser..I don't have a yes man bone in my body. I do NOT "drink the kool aid"
29) If we were to have another baby I really would like another boy. These guys have made me boy crazy...
30) Yes, I would name a 3rd after a superhero also without hesitation.me and the hubs are just cool like that..but if somehow it were a girl..my favorite part would be naming her Harley Quinn!

 These ALMOND cupcakes are in my refrigerator right now. Kal-El and I have been taking turns pacing in front of them. lol ;)
 Lastly, Here's a transcript of our earlier convo!

Kal-El : Why we pick up cupcakes today?
Me: Bc Bridget ordered these for Mommy's birthday but we're going to freeze them for a few days along with a cake Daddy ordered until the family can celebrate and all be together"
K: Mommy how old you be morrow?
Me: 30 baby...
K: Ummm...yay Mommy you gonna get bigger!?
Me: Dear God I hope not son!!
K: Aww you berry pretty
Me: Nice save Super

We Love You Nannie!

 This Wednesday morning started off like any other. I posted my wordless post and called my grandparents next door to see how their morning was going. Here lately we have gone to The Box Car with them for lunch most everyday during the week. We are very close and the boys enjoy it so much. Wednesday I thought would be no different. Sadly, I was very wrong and got one of those you just never know what life will bring reminders. Chris had walked next door to ask what time they wanted to eat. They said they would be ready at 11:30. When my cell phone rang at 11:00 I thought there is no way they got ready that fast. I must be running late or looking at the clock wrong. It was Poppa on the phone..not Nannie as it usually is. His voice seemed frantic..highly unusual for him. He told me to get Chris, he needed help with Linda. I froze bc I almost knew the next words. "I think she's had a stroke" Chris rushed over as I tried my best to keep myself calm so I didn't terrify my little people. I'm not a pro at keeping calm. I probably failed miserably. I'm sorry. I finally got in a frame of mind where I could get some cartoons on for Kal-El once Logan feel asleep and jogged back and forth to check on the extent of things. The ambulance was already on its way. She had just fallen out as she attempted to get ready for our lunch date. When I saw Nannie laying there and actually talking to us with no OBVIOUS intimidate type of stroke indicators ie slurred speech etc I felt only a small sense of relief. The primary reason for that was because I've said for months to anyone that I thought would listen that I thought she was having mini strokes. I wasn't dressed yet and had to get the kids dressed as well so I ran home and got a sheet of paper to write down instructions for Mom, Aunt Vicki, and Aunt Shane. I could hardly write but managed to get ....she needs a cat scan first, if its a clot she has a 3 hr window to get the tPA shot. I'm no leading medical expert but I try to stay as educated on things as I possibly can. My brain literally turns into a sponge when I'm acquiring new knowledge esp when the care of my family is involved so I knew what needed to be done. The approximate time of her stroke was 11:00am. The ticking clock began. She missed a shot in the past with her first stroke 6 years ago so I was determined that she receive the best care possible this time around. Unfortunately, it was worse than ever.
   The ER doctor was horrendous. I won't mention her name because there are now current on going issues. Basically my grandmother laid in an ER bed (with a blood clot on her brain) from noon until 9pm at night. The ER doctor even wanted to send her home. I was in the room when she walked in. This common vial creature was passive and dismissive the moment she walked in. Sorry I know that sounds awfully extreme but I loathe people who are in the medical field that have zero business being there. I read people pretty flawlessly and 1 minute in I knew we were in trouble. She was an idiot. I have zero problems saying it. She took one look at her and said flatly "Oh its probably a urinary tract infection" I rolled my eyes. I absolutely couldn't help it. "It presents this way in the elderly" I didn't buy it for a second. Despite us telling her that this wasn't normal for her and she was very active and in good health at her age. She gets around as good as me some days. She wouldn't budge. We asked her repeatedly for scans. We were denied. She got curt the 3 rd and final time barking that "she doesn't meet the criteria and she hasn't had a stroke" We kept on so hard that the only thing she was willing to do was let her stay over night and try to "fudge so yalls insurance will cover her" Weakness for a UTI is not a reason to keep someone was her exact words to us. M-O-R-O-N. Nannie got her room. At 9:00pm that night the doctor on the floor walked in gave her the simple psychical test that I was very familiar with even before scans were preformed and determined in 5 minutes that she had a stroke. Scans confirmed the findings one hour later. Scans she should of had the first hour of her arrival not 9 hours later. Our window was again closed and she was left to suffer the effects of the aftermath of a stroke. That night she was transferred to CCU. The following morning ECM decided to send her to Birmingham. Thank God.
   Chris, the boys and I got up early ,not that anyone slept, and made our way to Birmingham. I was so anxious to speak to a knowledgeable doctor. Once he arrived he confirmed it was definitely a stroke and told us that she would need sodium thru a central line to try to counter the brain swelling that would occur over he next 5 days. Day 1 being the onset of the stroke. The procedure was not without its own risk...primarily serious staph infection, lung puncture etc. The benefits outweigh the risk because without the procedure if the swelling got extensive enough she could have brain death. The fear of losing her was too great so the decision was made quickly. The doctor let us look at her scans. He showed us the locations of her strokes. Yes with an S. He showed us the big one she had 6 years ago. He said he was blown away she lived thru it let alone walk, talk, and live a normal active life. Wednesday's stroke was on the same side, the left, not as big but still a large stroke. He was very honest about how serious it was...especially the swelling. He told us that we hadn't seen the worst day yet. Maxim swelling peaks day 3-4. The he moved on to show us a couple of others that had taken place over the last 6 months. Small ones. Mini strokes....just as I thought. I just hung my head and cried. I felt like I had the knowledge before hand and didn't do enough. You can't break a doctors arm and force them to run tests and sometimes education isn't enough. It makes defeat that much worse. Its such a helpless feeling. The hardest part for me was that Nannie was so much better yesterday than the day prior when the stroke began. It's such a cruel waiting period. The nature of a stroke altogether seems cruel to me. The first day is horrible bc thats when the lack of blood supply is aparent and you get a taste of the extent of the damage. Then as the clot dissipates its almost like there is a little  hope and waiting to see the degree of brain swelling robs you of that precious hope. All you can do is wait and pray. At least we were doing it with people we love and finally in good hands.
  We made the long drive home last night because Chris had to be called out for work this morning. I debated going back today but I think I'm going to let the boys get a good nights rest and drive down early in the morning  unless there is a change tonight. Even during her most difficult days she and Poppa can only think of others. They are both worried about me driving down alone with the boys. The are precious people. I learned something unexpected about my grandmother thru this so far. I've always thought of her as kind, beautiful, and spoiled by my sweet grandfather who loves her. Feminine and graceful and a very loyal sense of family. I never considered for a moment her enormous strength. I do now. Especially after what the doctor told us about her last stroke. She is obviously a fighter. Nannie, please keep fighting these next few days. You've beat a bigger monster than this already. Tomorrow is my birthday and my only wish is to share a piece of cake with you....We love you Nannie!

Wordless Wednesday- The Amazing Spider(Men) :)

Book of the Month- The Very Quiet Cricket

 Oh how I have missed posting these. I have lots of new blog followers and I hope this won't bore you too much. I want my little ones to be able to look back on the books that were read to them in childhood and all the wonderful memories created by them. Experts say the strongest sense tied to memory is scent. I've always been more of a visual person (left handed trait most likely) and anytime I see the cover of an old childhood book I read or see the a little jelly finger print food stains on one of the actual old books itself I can't help but smile. I have tons of sweet memories from my books and that time in my upbringing. Sadly, there are many that were tossed out that I have no recollection of. Thats why I want to document some of our favorites. This month's select was given to Kal-El by Aunt Shane as one of his birthday presents. He adores this book. His favorite page is the one that showcases the Luna moth. We rescued one from our back yard so he has a fondness for them. I do as well. I think they are so beautiful and I've heard before that they are a symbol of good luck :) As you can see from the pictures this sweet book has just about had it! The story is about a cricket trying to find his" noise" or his place in the world. It originally made cricket sounds until Kal-El's curiosity got the best of him and he pulled the little voice box out of the back cover. It's still a keeper and will always be one of our favorites!

Wordless Wednesday- Super and His Superman Shaved Ice :)